


The Point in Swearing

by apocalypsecat



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, Gen, One-Shot, Swearing, mild crack, sherlock swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2013-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-09 13:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocalypsecat/pseuds/apocalypsecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'"John, what's the point in swearing?" Sherlock asked.' Discover the span of Sherlock's swearing vocabulary. One-shot. Mild crack!fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Point in Swearing

"Shit," said John perhaps a little too loudly. Typical, isn't it? The first time in months that he tries to make dinner, and he cuts himself. Why was he trying to make dinner in the first place? Well, Angelo was getting tired of seeing them every single day.

"John, what's the point in swearing?" Sherlock asked as he turned away from the crappy soap John was previously watching. John looked up in surprise, forgetting about his bleeding thumb. Then he got suspicious.

"Are you asking me or making a point?" John asked him. He really was confused; well he often was whenever Sherlock was near him.

"I'm asking you, John," Sherlock specified. John was so shocked he didn't speak for a few moments. " _Today_  would be great, John," Sherlock added. John shook his head to get rid of his trance and started to [answer](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8020997/1/The-Point-in-Swearing), but then realised, that it really is hard to answer that question.

"Well ... it's ... how to put it? It kind of ... relieves stress, in a way. It's really confusing," John concluded with a shrug.

"It's always confusing with you John," Sherlock complained. John almost cut himself again at that.

"Oh, it's with  _me_ that it's confusing?" He asked sarcastically. Sherlock stared at him for a few seconds.

"So it relieves stress?" He asked.  _Changing the subject, I see,_  John thought. Sherlock stayed quiet for a few moments, "I'll consider trying that next time," Sherlock said, as if contemplating his next ice-cream flavour. It was so ridiculous that John starting laughing in spite of himself and his bleeding thumb.

"What?" Sherlock asked, finally turning away from the screen.

"Nothing," John said, smiling.

* * *

"He got away," Lestrade sighed.

"Yes, he obviously got away from the look on your face but  _where_  did he go?" Sherlock asked impatiently.

"He went out of the country, okay?" Lestrade replied with as much impatience.

"Out of the – how?" Sherlock demanded.

"Not my division," Lestrade retorted.

"Yes it  _bloody_  is your division, where the  _fuck_  did he go?" Sherlock smashed his fist against the hood of the car and he was swearing. That serial killer wasn't the only one that had gone AWOL. Where did [the violin](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8020997/1/The-Point-in-Swearing) and tea Sherlock go?

"America," Lestrade replied quietly, his eyes wider than an owl. After all, this was Sherlock swearing.

"Fuck! Bugger! Damn! SHIT!" Sherlock started. Everyone on the street was starting to look. A mother had even shot them a glare and covered her five year olds' ears. It couldn't get a worse. Except it did; because Sherlock was only starting.

"Fucking hell! Oh, the complete and utter fucking arse! That son of a bitch! Why the fuck would he do that? I hope that fucking piece of shit gets murdered! Oh, the motherfucking, bitch-face, fuck head!" Sherlock finished, panting. After a few minutes of complete silence in a 100 metre radius, Sherlock spoke again, this time without profanities spewing out of his mouth.

"You're right John, it  _does_ relieve stress," Sherlock admitted, seeming rather surprised. John was too much in shock to point out that one sentence, and not a whole rant, was enough.

"The psycho has a foul mouth.  _Brilliant_ ," Donovan muttered.


End file.
